Breaking up with friends

Have you ever been in a situation, where you make a new friend and you both hit it off really well. You have several things in common, same interest. And you start hanging out with them like non-stop, just because you can't seem to get enough of them. Then the unthinkable happens, something goes wrong and you stop hanging out. Either you just get tired of each other, grow your separate ways, or you have a disagreement. Whatever the case maybe the person you thought was your new best friend isn't there anymore, the friendship pretty much ends. 

I've recently lost a friend. Over something I think is stupid. I've put a lot of thought into how this happened.  I know "why" but I don't know how it got to that point. From my perspective, we shared common interest and sense of humor. We both had a love and passion for the same thing. I was so excited to have a new friend that I enjoyed being around so much. I tried my best to encourage her to follow her dreams. And I felt like she truly encouraged me to do the same. I appreciated her friendship, because I have a really hard time making friends just because I've been hurt by so my "friends" in the past. I thought everything was going well. Then one day it was over. 

I felt attacked. I had been "tested" by my friend. I was and am hurt beyond belief. I don't like people scheming behind my back. If you are my friend and you don't feel right about something, come talk to me, I'm extremely honest(at times a little to blunt) and I'm understanding. But when I start getting accusations thrown at me, I get a little upset. This isn't the first time it has happened, and I'm sure it won't be the last. 

I just don't understand why people can't just be real. But I guess that's how the world is these days. There is so much judgement, manipulation, lying, scheming, and fake-ness now a days. I hate it. 

I love my friends, and I guess I'm wrong to put my heart on my sleeve so easily. But I try my best to be a good, honest, true friend. If people don't see that then it's their loss. I'm not saying she is a bad person by any means, it's just a huge misunderstanding that wasn't handled well at all.

With my friend I tried to make amends, but when you get ignored the attempt seems pointless. 

And to my friend,  if you are reading this, sorry to talk about it publicly but I just need to get some stuff off my chest. I also apologize for and rudeness or anger I may have implied to you through our messaging. I love you and I'm sorry if you feel that I did any of those things you think I did. I didn't, and that's all I can say. Whether you choose to believe me or not is up to you. The ball is in your court now.

So needless to say breaking up with friends stinks, but life goes on.

I leave you with this. Something I think EVERY relationship needs. (whether romantic or just friends.) And it is something that I strive for, although it's not always easy.

1 Corinthians 13

Love

 ¹If I speak in the tongues of men and of angels, but have not LOVE, I am only a resounding gong or a clanging cymbal. ²If I have the gift of prophecy and can fathom all mysteries and all knowledge, and if I have a faith that can move mountains, but have not LOVE, I am nothing. ³If I give all I possess to the poor and surrender my body to the flames, but have not LOVE, I gain nothing.

 ⁴LOVE is patient, 

LOVE is kind. 

It does not envy,

 it does not boast, 

it is not proud. 

⁵It is not rude,

 it is not self-seeking,

 it is not easily angered,

 it keeps no record of wrongs.

⁶LOVE does not delight in evil 

but rejoices with the truth.

 ⁷It always protects,

 always trusts,

 always hopes,

 always perseveres.

 ⁸LOVE never fails. But where there are prophecies, they will cease; where there are tongues, they will be stilled; where there is knowledge, it will pass away. ⁹For we know in part and we prophesy in part, ¹⁰but when perfection comes, the imperfect disappears. ¹¹When I was a child, I talked like a child, I thought like a child, I reasoned like a child. When I became a man, I put childish ways behind me. ¹²Now we see but a poor reflection as in a mirror; then we shall see face to face. Now I know in part; then I shall know fully, even as I am fully known.

¹³And now these three remain: faith, hope and love. 

But the greatest of these is LOVE.

p.s. sorry about the downer blog. I'm just super bummed out.

I am so spoiled!

Why is it that my husband just loves to spoil me!! We went out pawn shopping with no intentions of buy anything. It is just something I really like to do, so he entertains me by driving us around. WELL, I've been wanting to start a camera collection, old/used/working/non-working/vintage/or just plain cool.  I never got around to really buying anything yet. But I can now say my collection has officially started!!!

Say hello to my new(old) camera!!

I love it! I can't wait to use up my first roll and get it developed. This camera was released in 1980. The Pentax MV1 is an aperture priority automatic camera, with an electronic focal plane shutter from 1s to 1/1000, synchronized at 1/100. The shutter curtains are metal and have a vertical movement. There is no shutter dial, and the camera cannot be used in manual mode, except for B and 1/100 exposures. The exposure meter is of the standard TTL open aperture center weighted type. It is activated by a slight pressure on the release button. The Pentax MV1 has a 0.85× viewfinder, covering 92% of the field. The finder screen is fixed, with a split image image and a microprism ring in the center. Neither the shutter speed nor the aperture is displayed in the finder.


Not only did I get the camera but I got some accessories as well, a flash, case, strap, and a second lens. All for under $50 ")

I love film, there is nothing like it. As soon as I get the roll finished off and developed, I'll post the photos!

Losing my best friend

I'm in a mixed state of emotion, my sister Kasie is moving to New York. She's my best friend. I don't know what I'm going to do without her. Josiah is losing his best friend too. At the same time I'm super excited for her. I wish I was brave enough to just leave everything behind and go live somewhere different. I'm just afraid of leaving my family. I want my kids to grow up around their grandparents. I want them to be able to go spend the weekend with them often. But I also want change. Ugh, it's such a hard choice. 

I want to go live up in New York close to my sister. I want that BAD. But that means Chris would have to find a job close to them that pays really good. Or at least enough to make it worth moving. I'm really going to miss hanging out with her, going to her house and spending the day there letting the boys play together, I'm going to miss my craft buddy. 

Time Away.

So lately I've been really focusing on my kids. I realized I spent most of my day in front of the computer and I needed that to change. As hard as it is to stay away, it was definitely a good choice for me. By all means, I'm not downing anyone who does do that. Just for me there needed to be something different. 

Jocelyn is getting bigger by the day. We recently got her ears pierced, she started eating baby cereal and she rolls over from tummy to back. It's all going by so fast. **crying voice** My babies are growing up so fast** :P 

Josiah is learning more words everyday it seems. He loves discovering new stuff and LOVES to read books. He is almost 2!! Holy Moley!!! December 2nd. I'm already brainstorming for party plans, I'm pretty positive we are going to have a Yo Gabba Gabba party, cause that is his favorite. But other than that., I have no clue! Anyone have any ideas, please feel free to shoot them my way!

The other day, we(as in Chris, Josiah, Jocelyn and I) went to Landa Park. It was such a great day. The weather was lovely. It's such a joy to watch Josiah run and laugh and play. He loved feeding the ducks and he really liked the play ground. And of course you know he threw a FIT when it was time to leave. Jocelyn  loves to be outside so she was so happy.

I hope everyone is have a fabulous Labor Day weekend. Until next time.

X&O

Courtney

Our little Biscuit,

Unfortunately, we had to send him home.  Here's why. He was a very lovie playful little guy the first day. Second day he was like unsure of Josiah and seemed kinda grouchy. Sometimes if Josiah got to close or screamed to loud Biscuit would growl at him. A couple times he kinda snapped a bit. I was worried but just figured he needed time to adjust. No biggie. Well the third day I took him with me to my sisters house. She has a malti-poo also so I thought they could be great friends. Not so much. Biscuit kept growling and attacking Molli. He didn't want anything to do with her. She is a very sweet dog and very playful. That just pissed him off. After a while Molli calmed down and kept her distance from Biscuit and everyone was good. But then as Biscuit was sitting at my feet Molli comes walking by and Biscuits starts growling. I spank him on the butt and told him no, and he snapped at me. Go figure. Molli kept trying to sniff him and he just kept on growling. So I tried to move the two of them apart so he would stop freaking out and the little jerk bit me. Hard enough to make me bleed and everything. Then he snapped at my nephew just cause he was standing to close. I was like OK that's it. I can't have a dog with this kind of temperament. So I called the guy we got him from, told him the story and he came and picked him up. I was super sad cause I was really looking forward to having a dog. And he was really sweet and good with me. Just not with kids or other dogs. So Chris and I talked about it and decided that we will start looking for a puppy. That way we can raise it to love our children and be social with other dogs. I'm super bummed cause I really liked Biscuit but I guess he just wasn't right for us.