Breaking up with friends

Have you ever been in a situation, where you make a new friend and you both hit it off really well. You have several things in common, same interest. And you start hanging out with them like non-stop, just because you can't seem to get enough of them. Then the unthinkable happens, something goes wrong and you stop hanging out. Either you just get tired of each other, grow your separate ways, or you have a disagreement. Whatever the case maybe the person you thought was your new best friend isn't there anymore, the friendship pretty much ends. 

I've recently lost a friend. Over something I think is stupid. I've put a lot of thought into how this happened.  I know "why" but I don't know how it got to that point. From my perspective, we shared common interest and sense of humor. We both had a love and passion for the same thing. I was so excited to have a new friend that I enjoyed being around so much. I tried my best to encourage her to follow her dreams. And I felt like she truly encouraged me to do the same. I appreciated her friendship, because I have a really hard time making friends just because I've been hurt by so my "friends" in the past. I thought everything was going well. Then one day it was over. 

I felt attacked. I had been "tested" by my friend. I was and am hurt beyond belief. I don't like people scheming behind my back. If you are my friend and you don't feel right about something, come talk to me, I'm extremely honest(at times a little to blunt) and I'm understanding. But when I start getting accusations thrown at me, I get a little upset. This isn't the first time it has happened, and I'm sure it won't be the last. 

I just don't understand why people can't just be real. But I guess that's how the world is these days. There is so much judgement, manipulation, lying, scheming, and fake-ness now a days. I hate it. 

I love my friends, and I guess I'm wrong to put my heart on my sleeve so easily. But I try my best to be a good, honest, true friend. If people don't see that then it's their loss. I'm not saying she is a bad person by any means, it's just a huge misunderstanding that wasn't handled well at all.

With my friend I tried to make amends, but when you get ignored the attempt seems pointless. 

And to my friend,  if you are reading this, sorry to talk about it publicly but I just need to get some stuff off my chest. I also apologize for and rudeness or anger I may have implied to you through our messaging. I love you and I'm sorry if you feel that I did any of those things you think I did. I didn't, and that's all I can say. Whether you choose to believe me or not is up to you. The ball is in your court now.

So needless to say breaking up with friends stinks, but life goes on.

I leave you with this. Something I think EVERY relationship needs. (whether romantic or just friends.) And it is something that I strive for, although it's not always easy.

1 Corinthians 13

Love

 ¹If I speak in the tongues of men and of angels, but have not LOVE, I am only a resounding gong or a clanging cymbal. ²If I have the gift of prophecy and can fathom all mysteries and all knowledge, and if I have a faith that can move mountains, but have not LOVE, I am nothing. ³If I give all I possess to the poor and surrender my body to the flames, but have not LOVE, I gain nothing.

 ⁴LOVE is patient, 

LOVE is kind. 

It does not envy,

 it does not boast, 

it is not proud. 

⁵It is not rude,

 it is not self-seeking,

 it is not easily angered,

 it keeps no record of wrongs.

⁶LOVE does not delight in evil 

but rejoices with the truth.

 ⁷It always protects,

 always trusts,

 always hopes,

 always perseveres.

 ⁸LOVE never fails. But where there are prophecies, they will cease; where there are tongues, they will be stilled; where there is knowledge, it will pass away. ⁹For we know in part and we prophesy in part, ¹⁰but when perfection comes, the imperfect disappears. ¹¹When I was a child, I talked like a child, I thought like a child, I reasoned like a child. When I became a man, I put childish ways behind me. ¹²Now we see but a poor reflection as in a mirror; then we shall see face to face. Now I know in part; then I shall know fully, even as I am fully known.

¹³And now these three remain: faith, hope and love. 

But the greatest of these is LOVE.

p.s. sorry about the downer blog. I'm just super bummed out.